NO ONE WRITES LETTERS ANYMORE

literacy ain't what it used to be.
the written word has gone out of fashion. it's not that we, on the whole and as an average, can't read and write. it's that we, on the whole and as an average, don't. it almost seems to be an outdated form of communication. a long winded form of self expression. in this modern age of convenience, the effort exceeds the reward.

i don't consider myself old fashioned. i think of myself as a man who looks forward. i've always been pro technology and i'm generally excited about what tomorrow may bring, but technology has its drawbacks. it seemed to have spawned a collective sense of impatience, at least in the world of communication. there's a cell phone in almost every american pocket. emails are sent and received in the span of a few clicks. social networking sites are big business. we are all just seconds away from a connection. staying in touch is easier than its ever been but that ease, i believe, has made the interactions dull.

since the act of sending a text message or shooting someone an email is so simple, rarely is much thought put into it. text messages even have a limit to how many characters can be typed and sent. my cell provider has a 160 character limit. even though this digital form of writing has become wildly popular, it seems to be more harmful to our writing skills than good. text messages created a whole new form of slang. lol. wtf. omg. etc. its all abbreviations, acronyms and misspellings. emails aren't much better. everything is short and sweet. with a limited vocabulary, these messages are usually vague and easily misunderstood. few adjectives and no nuance.

i just miss the feeling of finding a letter in my mailbox. its a great lift to one's self esteem. knowing someone sat down and spent time thinking about what was on there mind and taking the time to put it into words. carefully chosen words picked with patience and without interuption. i miss the feeling of sharing my thoughts and experiences without time constraints or argument. to freely go off on tangential anecdotes. to know i'm lifting someone else's self esteem a little bit. i'd take a poorly written letter over a "how r u? watz nu?" text message anyday. one of those times when the thought actually does count.

can't we find the time to ponder ideas? are we too busy to imagine? is the act of putting a pen to paper and patiently choosing the most appropriate words such a hassle?

JURY DUTY

a couple months ago, i received a summons in the mail stating that i had been selected for jury duty. it was a familiar looking envelope as i'd received one around the same time last year, and also the year before that. it would seem that i am the poster boy for the model juror. the first two times, when i called in the night before to check the status and make sure i would still be needed, i was notified that my services would not be required. this time, they were.

first off, when i made my call in the night before, there was an automated message saying they no longer validated parking or provided any discounts for parking. since i had to report to the court of common pleas in the heart of Philadelphia, i would almost certainly have to put my car in a garage, setting me back at least $20 since i had no idea how long i'd have to stay there. i decided the train was a more economical way to go. what could have been a 15 minute drive became a $9 round trip ticket and a 45 minute railroad commute.

i got there 10 minutes early and had to pass through a security checkpoint. my bag went through an x-ray machine as i repeatedly failed to make it past the metal detectors without sounding the alarm. eventually i succeeded only to be pulled aside and reprimanded by the officers for having my cell phone in my bag. they demanded that i check it in at a desk in the lobby. i did so, then went back and set the alarms off another half dozen times.

i was directed to a large room and given a couple forms to fill out. 20 or so yes or no questions to test my impartiality. i filled them out at my seat, sitting amongst at least 200 other annoyed Philadelphians. periodically, a woman went up to a microphone and called out 40 names and sent them off to a civil or criminal trial. in between these announcements, i got to listen to the woman on my left vent her frustrations about civil duties and the fellow on my right poorly crack after everything that came out of the p.a. system. they both eventually got called away for jury panels. my name was never called.

hour 1: i mainly just sat quietly filling out my paperwork and listening for my name.

hour 2: the lady to my left began to get irate and let me know about all the things she's rather be doing. we were also privy to an instructional video about how fill out the forms in case anyone had doubt on how to answer yes or no questions.

hour 3: i got up and walked around the room. i tried to go out in the hallway, just to explore a little bit, but was quickly stopped by a couple boys in blue. i thought it was weird that they had guards posted. i went back to my seat and started reading, secretly devising the most intricate escape plan possible in my head.

hour 4: i read and intermittently gave a chuckle to the guy next to me as he tried to make jokes. i wouldn't have been shocked if he'd have opened his jacket to reveal a spinning, polka-dot bow tie. it was that level of comedic genius.

hour 5: i read. the woman next to me got called for a civil trial. she wasn't happy about it at all since it meant she had to walk all the way to city hall (a block away).

hour 6: i read and sketched. the jokester got called for a trial and told me he was going to tell the judge that he was on anti-psychotics.

hour 7.5: i was given a check for $9 and dismissed. cartwheels through the city's center ensued in celebration of my new found wealth.

honestly, prior to this ordeal, i was a little excited to be a juror (as hard as that may be to believe). i know most people dread the experience. there's something compelling to me about the power of justice. the authority of decision. i do live in a major city which held the record last year for homicides, so i figured that the chances of having an exciting case were in my favor. probably the first time in my life i was really hoping to meet the king of a drug cartel or a serial killer. the anticlimactic disorganization of the day dashed that feeling. the excitement fizzled out entirely around hour five.

i did manage to read an entire book (on a weekday no less), and i enjoyed a free, warm piece of apple spice cake... so, it wasn't a total loss.

PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL

dear partially hydrogenated soybean oil makers-

i'm aware that your partially hydrogenated oils are in thousands of mass produced foods. you've basically had the market cornered for decades. i understand that its cheap and prevalent. now, it seems, the partially hydrogenated soybean oil dynasty is crumbling. your industry is going down faster than the brass on the titanic.

the health conscious have unanimously revolted against your oil. they have a whole list of reasons. they say it makes you fat. that is decreases your lifespan significantly. i think these are excuses to cover up their chief qualm. it can't be with oil. you can thank the public relations team for the olive oil makers for convincing the world that oil is good for you. it can't be with the soybean. soy has become synonymous with healthy living. that leaves only the "partially hydrogenated" aspect. therefore, the problem, i believe, is with your work ethic.

partially hydrogenating obviously isn't fairing well for you these days. when the same old, same old is no longer good enough for your consumers, its time to upgrade. time to up the ante.
i say "commit!"

i say get up a little earlier. i say get to the soybean oil factory and don't leave until you've hydrogenated to the fullest. no more of this partial business. seriously, guys. hydrogenate your faces off.

don't sell yourselves short, fellas. try to remember the passion you had for hydrogenating in the beginning. back when soybean oils were only being hydrogenated by a select few. the best of the best. an underground network of hydrogenating fore fathers with little more than a dream & a pure love for the craft. that rewarding feeling of pride can be your's again. imagine what you could achieve if only you'd apply yourselves. you have too much potential to settle for "good enough". fully hydrogenated soybean oil is NOT a pipe dream!

we're americans. we don't want fractions of anything. give us the full treatment, already. we're an all-or-nothing society. we don't partially cook chicken, we don't tell jokes about chickens that partially cross the road, and we don't partially hydrogenate oxygen. we fully hydrogenate it. we want water, not gas. if you think about it, it makes sense.

your biggest fan,

T

WENDY'S

i stopped at Wendy's tonight on my way home from work. i had a craving for soft serve vanilla ice cream all day. now, mind you, i'm not much of a fast food connoisseur. in fact, i've been actively avoiding it for years now. after reading Fast Food Nation, seeing Supersize Me, and hearing all the fun facts from my vegetarian friends, i've become pretty disgusted by the whole scene. maybe my lack of frequent visits attributes to why so many things seemed odd to me.

first of all, the line for the drive through was a least 20 cars long. the beginning of the line almost met the end, circling the entire building. seeing hardly anyone inside, i parked and went in. the line was only about 5 or 6 people deep.

i looked over the menu as i waited for my turn. curiously, it was ridiculously simplified. the sign on the wall was broken into 6 sections. 5 displayed pictures of the combo meals and frosty desserts. 1 was the value menu. it was practically text free.

also, there's almost no individual items listed. the sandwiches in the meals aren't priced without the accompanying fries and soda.

frostys have diversified. you can get the standard chocolate or vanilla variety, a frosty float (half frosty, half root beer) or a twisted frosty (frosty mixed with a little crushed candy). what is weird is the pricing. a frosty is 99 cents for 12 oz., $1.49 for 16 oz., and $1.99 for 20 oz.. the twisted frosty is $2.89. that means that when you subtract the 99 cents worth of ice cream, you're paying almost $2 for about a tablespoon of crumbled oreos. the frosty float is $2.49 for 16 oz. (8 oz. of frosty, 8 oz. of root beer). subtract the 66 cents worth of ice cream and the 61 cents for the soda, and you realize you're paying as much for the cup as you are for the beverage. still, the two people in front of me got floats. the guy in front of them bought a twisted frosty.

i ordered and still had to wait about 5 minutes. i tried to figure out why but could come to no conclusion. the girl who took my order just stood there.

while patiently tapping my foot, i took notice of an "employees of the month" plaque. nothing fancy. just your run of the mill piece of wood with little brass plates for engraved names. it was proudly hung on the front wall. every brass plate was blank.

so what have i learned?

• people would rather waste a half an hour on a friday evening than walk 20 feet.
• fries and a soda automatically comes with anything you order
  
• Wendy's views its customers as illiterate and devoid of basic math skills
  
• cashiers do not perform functions that require more than the use of an index fingertip
• no Wendy's employees have ever done a good job
  

i guess i just have a hard time understanding why these places are so successful. everyone is aware of how horribly unhealthy the food is. its not even that fresh or that tasty. its barely even biodegradable. i used to think the hook was the low cost, but most of the combo meals were over $5. the corporations apparently view their patrons as complete idiots. is it simply a matter of effective saturation advertising and "convenience"? i just don't get it.

am i the only person who thinks this is all bazaar?

THOUGHTS ON REALISM

realism, in regards to the fine arts style of painting, is defined as "the depiction of subjects as they appear in life, without embellishment or interpretation." its simply the recreation of an image by the hand as seen by the eye. like photography, but with a pencil or paintbrush instead of a lens and film.

back in the day, before cameras were commonplace, realist painters got most of the work. as art has historically been a luxury commodity for the wealthy, paintings allowed those who could afford it the opportunity to have their image imprinted in history. at the time, it was the most accessible option for visually capturing a moment for posterity.

i've had a little beef with realism since i came into my own as an artist. the casual art appreciators tend to flock towards realism. in my experience, the more realistic a painting, the more these people feel its beyond their own capacity, and thus, the more they are impressed with the artist's mastery of his tools. they're more impacted by the skill it required to produce the piece than by the piece itself or its competence in expressing something less tangible. the actual painting comes secondary, or not at all, as its the ability that is revered. its an admiration for the "how" and not the "what". a respect for the production that overshadows the produced.

the technical skill needed to reproduce something accurately has its value. i think its quite important for every artist to learn perspective and proportion and color mixing. its imperative for building foundations. learning how to see things as they are lets you see how you can change them as well, fitting them to your ideas. a professor told me something that i'll never forget:

"You have to learn all the rules so that you can learn how to break them."

while i think some are more inclined to excelling at it than others, i think that just about anyone can learn realism. that said, i think a truly gifted artist has something more than what can be taught. its an ability to express something through art. for art to have an effect on the viewer, a deep and profound meaning, it needs to go beyond mere photo-realistic representation. that's what makes fine art original. i look at it like this: if you sit a model in a chair and ask 10 realists to paint her, you'll get 10 paintings that all look virtually the same, more or less. if you were to have 10 non-realists paint her, you'll get 10 unique painting. one may convey the loneliness of the woman. one may convey the artists own issues with sexuality. one may convey the harmony and juxtaposition of color and form. while all 10 paintings are of the same subject matter, they would all express something more, something additional, something personal or emotional or symbolic. the subject for the realists is a woman sitting in a chair. for the non-realist, that's only part of it. maybe even nothing more than an inspiration.

i think a lot of folks get hung up on the "i could've done that" idea. Pollack or Mondrian come to mind. they see abstraction as something within their own grasp. the fact is, in many cases, there's a lot of stones that need to be stepped on before an artist can really express one's self in the manner he or she envisions. look at some of Picasso's early work and his drawings. he's got the realistic chops, and yet he veered so far off that path. he consciously chose to do so.

its a style with huge limitations. its easy and straight forward. its a style of face value, and personally, i need more from my artwork. both in what i admire and honor, and in what i create.

in the end, this is all just a statement of opinion. art is something different to everyone. any appreciation at all gets a thumbs up from me. i'm not bitter or angry and i don't mean to offend anyone or play myself off as some pretentious art snob. honestly, to each their own. i do actually respect realist paintings. i just think that there's a lot more that can be gained from art beyond the arrangement of a composition and the ability required to execute it. i just think some people close that window without ever looking through it.

PROBLEMS & STATISTICS

something i always try to do when i'm outside of the country is ask people about their opinion of america and its inhabitants. it's interesting to me to see how we're viewed from the outside. it also shines a light on how skewed our perception of ourselves really is.

we are often seen as bullies. as greedy consumerers. as cocky elitists.

whatever.

we ARE the greatest country in the world...right?

USA Ranking on Adult Literacy: #9
USA Ranking on Healthcare Quality: #37
USA Ranking of Student Reading Ability: #12
USA Ranking of Student Problem Solving Ability: #26
USA Ranking on Student Mathematics Ability: # 24
USA Ranking of Student Science Ability: #19
USA Ranking on Women's Rights Scale: #17
USA Position on Gay Rights Progress: # 6
USA Ranking on Life Expectancy: #29
USA Ranking on Journalistic Freedom: #32
USA Ranking on Quality of Life: #13
USA Ranking on Environmental Sustainability: #45
USA Ranking on Overall Currency Strength: #3
USA Ranking on Infant Mortality Rate: #32

so if we're not the best at anything, why does everyone think we are?

THE CAFFEINATED GENERATION

when i was growing up, i was one of the few regular coffee drinkers i knew. my habit began in high school. i was mainly in it for the caffeine. i had alway been a night person. the quiet solitude gave me plenty of uninterrupted time to draw and write and paint, but left me sluggish for school in the morning. i'd make a stop at dunkin donuts (it was 'mister donut' then) almost every day.

when i was growing up, kids were prevented from drinking coffee. adults had a handful of reasons ready if the need arose.

"kids have enough energy already".
"it'll make your teeth yellow."
"coffee makes your breath smell."
"it'll stunt your growth."

kids all drink coffee now. with the explosion of coffeehouses and the starbucks franchise, its become the thing to do. its trendy. its hip. they even sell CD's and have live music. they're always full of kids. the grumpy old lady cashiers are gone, too. even the employees are kids.

where are all the grown ups who gave me so much slack 10 years ago?
are we heading towards a future race of jittery, yellow toothed, foul breathed midgets?

i can only hope.

OUR RECORD BREAKING PRESIDENT

get ready!

a milestone in U.S. history is about to happen!

as of today, president Bush has taken 426 vacation days. about 14.2 months. an average of 9.5 weeks a year. just shy of a quarter of his presidency.

Reagan holds the record, for now, with 436 days (Jimmy Carter has the least with 79). with 17 months still remaining in Bush's term and being as he is currently on vacation at his ranch in Crawford, he's poised to take home the "most absent president" trophy very soon. in fact, he's probably going to crush the record when all has been told, stomping it into the ground under his spurred cowboy boots somewhere in Texas.

some said it couldn't be done. most think it shouldn't be done. no president could possibly take more time off then Reagan, right? after all, Ronny was our oldest president. he's got that record, too. plus, let's not forget he was shot within months of taking office.

George will prove them wrong. he surpassed Clinton more than 270 vacation days ago, and he's not about to let an attempted assassination survivor 25 years his senior hold the title if he can help it. it doesn't look like Bush will let anything stand in his way. not economic crisis. not executive decision making. not disaster relief. not even wars he waged. he's got his eye on the prize now.

its the final countdown.

HEAT STROKE

today was a hot day.

i left the cozy, air conditioned, biosphere of my workplace for lunch and emerged into the sunshine like walking into a wet blanket. i popped the lock on my car door and flopped onto the scorching hot leather seat. i shut the door and labored to take in a few breaths of the heat inside, magnified by the convex windows and sealed in the closed quarters. it was so hot, my brain stalled. it just stopped from temperature shock.

i felt like just lying down. there was an instant temptation to surrender and just drift off into a deep sleep, sucked dry off all the energy i had. then i thought that passing out might not be the best course of action (or inaction). a squad of ambulances would likely arrive not long after someone noticed me. they'd sit me up, check my vital signs, wipe the sweat from my brow, and place a thermometer in my mouth. the moment the glass tip would touch my tongue, my core temperature would superheat the mercury inside, shattering the glass tube. fragments would shoot into the face of the medic, knocking him back into the open doors of the ambulance. his flailing arms would collide with their portable x-ray machine and defibrillator paddles, coincidentally switching the paddles to "on" mode when it jarred against the asphalt. milliseconds later, i'd hear a series of beeps, the cue for the defibrillator paddles reaching their full charge. the electric current would burst forth, jumping several inches to the x-ray machine, activating wild radiation emissions. half of the thermometer would still hang from my mouth. my heat would continue to agitate the remaining mercury, sending the atoms into a frenzy. the collision of the electrons would happen at such a high speed that the liquid metal would reverse its charge on an atomic level, converting the metal from matter to antimatter. eventually, i'd be too weak to continue holding the fractured thermometer in my mouth, and it would roll out and shatter on the parking lot. the antimatter would reach annihilation the moment it made contact with matter of the earth, then boom - nuclear explosion with radioactive fall out.

maybe catching some zzz's wouldn't be the best of ideas.

i reconsidered. instead of taking a nap in the front seat, i just rolled down the windows and went to buy an Icee. when weighing the options, the scales tipped towards frozen refreshment. i don't want a massive dirty bomb detonation on my conscience. my parents wouldn't be too happy with me.

long story short,

summer sucks.

DECLARE INDEPENDENCE

the 13 colonies of the new world adopted the Declaration of Independence just over 231 years ago. having grown more and more irate at King George III's rule and the eruption of fighting in new england, they wanted out. an end to the tyranny of the monarchy.

though the document isn't actually broken up into sections, its commonly viewed as consisting of 5 parts. the introduction, the preamble, the indictment, the denunciation and the conclusion. it is in the indictment that our qualms with King George and our reasons for secession are stated. this past week, i re-read this historic artifact. here are some currently relevant passages from "the indictment", for your consideration, courtesy of our fore fathers.

"Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them...
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected...
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices...
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury.
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us...
...Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

here we are. 2.3 centuries later. there's a new King George (this one's the II). what is listed above is what we fought against to become a democratic nation pursuing life, pursuing liberty and pursuing happiness. we fought for it on our own turf. we shed our own blood in our own back yards for freedom. we did this to put an end to the injustices of the all-powerful king.

here we are. 2.3 centuries later. habeus corpus is no more. anyone at any time could be apprehended and imprisoned indefinitely without charges, trial or legal representation, without even a reason. that is entirely legal now. so are wire taps, search and seizures without warrant (which you never need even be informed of under the law), and governmental access to our medical records, tax records, and even the history of books bought or borrowed. these are all things which have become legal practices in the past few years.

here we are. 2.3 centuries later. we're 5 years and jugular deep in an unconstitutional, illegitimate and illegal invasion in the middle east. a war supported by a political agenda and perpetuated lies. facts deliberately falsified to garner the support of the people (google the "Downing street memo") by our elected officials. we are being led by an administration that knowingly coerced us into a long term, large scale war under false pretenses. think about this. take a minute and really think.

how far have we come?

declare independence.

THE THUMMERS GAME

robert, an old co-worker and myspace friend of mine, wrote this and posted it as a bulletin last week. though i can't take credit for devising it, you can bet its a game i'll be participating in. here's what robert wrote:

"Here's a fun little game I came up with a few weeks back...

If and when you are driving, and you see a Hummer or Hum-V coming in the opposite direction, stick your hand out the window and give them the thumbs down.
It's probably one of the most satisfying things in the world. I mean, I can't physically stop inconsiderate people from buying these things and subsequently driving themselves around the country wasting fuel and creating more pollutants, but God dammit I'm going to let them know how I feel about it.

It's peaceful and direct...and hopefully effective in embarrassing these people enough not to drive that vehicle.

The more the merrier; get your friends involved. Go Hummer-Hunting!
Nothing says "You Suck!" like a car full of people waving their thumbs down at your over-consumptive lifestyle and waste. These Hummer drivers don't have to worry about anyone else in the car being shocked or awed by the "Thummers" though because they never seem to have any other passengers."

hummers are completely legal. anyone with enough expendable income can go out and pick one up. its a perk in our society. that being said, it doesn't mean you should. unless you're hauling several tons of cinder blocks across mountainous terrain on a regular basic or you're currently serving a tour in a war somewhere, you're greatly over estimating your needs in a form of transportation. a minuscule fraction of a fraction of a fraction of our population even comes close to requiring such a monstrosity of a vehicle.

another one of our perks is free speech.
feel free to use it.

HANDLED WITH CARE

while mountain biking last night with my friend, we were passed by another cyclist wearing a helmet. in fact, a large portion of the other riders i saw were wearing helmets. this sparked a discussion as we rolled along the trail.

when i was growing up, i never wore a helmet, or pads, or any real safety prevention devices of any kind. no one i knew did. i also played outside constantly. i ran with sharp sticks. i threw rocks. i rolled down hills in garbage cans. i ate gross stuff. i rode in the back of my dad's truck. i repeatedly jumped off of the roof of our 3 story house into a bush for fun. i surfed down our staircase on a sleeping bag. i never wore a seat belt. all my friend's did the same sort of things. i'm not saying no one got hurt. actually, at one point or another, we all sustained injuries. a few scrapes here, a cut there. an occasional broken arm or leg. no brain damage or eyeballs got poked out, though, and we all survived our childhoods without any major permanent physical damage.

the children of today are treated as though they are made of eggshells. any kid exerting themselves more then a slow walk is swaddled in foam and plastic and rubber. it seems to be the social norm now to take every possible precaution to prevent even the smallest and unlikely injury from occurring. coddled and protected from any threat imaginable. there are always exceptions to the rules and not everyone falls into this category, but it does appear to be the trend of the times.

its not as though kids are more wreckless or doing crazier things. actually, from what i've seen, children hardly play outside at all anymore. most of them are glued to the television with its 500 channels. they hammer and mash buttons on video game controllers. they 'chat' for hours on instant messengers. pale, overweight kids with stunted social skill development. there's little time for interaction while locked away staring at a computer monitor or television set during all free waking hours. instead, they chat and email and myspace away. technology has created new avenues of communication for the tech savvy, indoor-ridden, modern youth. they've no use for personal connections or physical interaction. everyone is connected, but disconnected at the same time.

i think there's a link between it all. psychologists say most of our personality, who we are as people as we transform into functional adults, is a result of our early lives. our formative years. whether conscious of why we made the choices we make or not, most of it can be traced back to our adolescence. we took risks as children, well aware of the possibility of injury, yet we did it just the same. if any of us came home with blood trickling from a knee, a goose bump on a forehead, or even a fractured wrist, our parents usually just wagged a finger with an "oh, you kids" expression and warned us to be more careful next time. we were taught to be responsible for ourselves. even if it was "little johnny" who pushed me off my skateboard, i was partially to blame for my horse play. no lawsuits were filed. not against "mr. and mrs. little johnny". not against the manufacturers of the skateboard. then, after getting fixed with some bactine or a cast or a ziploc bag of ice, we were sent back out. we learned to take risks and be brave enough to face a little pain. like a baby bird being tossed from the nest. fly or fall. without the repercussions of the failure, the success isn't nearly as sweet.

we learned how to play fair. we learned how to take our friend's feeling into consideration. we grew deep friendships with our peers and their families. we had real relationships with adults.

i'm wondering what the kids of today will grow into. children with a one sided punishment/reward learning structure, shielded from the negative results of their actions. the over-protective nature of both parents and society in general can't be all good. will 20 more years bring adults with a core fear of danger and a constant sense of their own fragility? maybe. will the adults of tomorrow have little to no inner connection or empathy with your fellow man? perhaps. i'm a little nervous as to how a generation of kids grown in virtual isolation will lead the world.

maybe i'm being overly critical or just looking too far into the face of it. it just makes me wonder.

GRATUITOUS THANK YOU'S

small acts of kindness get overlooked all the time. holding a door open for a stranger. giving the right of way on the open road. sacrificing a seat on a crowded train. even if the act wasn't warranted or even necessary, it should be acknowledged with appreciation. too often, too many people habitually refuse to say a simple "thank you". people have their reasons. the proudly self-sufficient. the militant feminist. the cell phone conversaters. no one has to be nice. its one of the great things about this country. some folks just have it in their heart.

gratitude can make a difference to those people who choose to go above and beyond. a "thanks" from you does a lot to perpetuate the boy scout behavior. a snub could send your samaritan on a steep downward spiral to crack whoredom. that's a lot of weight for a conscience to bear.

so here's where i get confused. most roads are free to all. in fact, if all our roads and bridges were tossed in a giant sack, a very small percentage demand a toll for their use. maybe a fraction of a percent. in the occasion when one uses one of these roads or bridges, one most pass through a toll booth and fork out some cash for being allowed the privilege of passing through. most roads and bridges ask for neither our money or our time, but when any of us is required to pay up, we kindly thank mr. or mrs. toll booth collector. i've never known anyone not to say thanks.

their job is to sit on a stool and take money from motorists and dispense change. its a lousy job, but also an incredibly easy one. the occupation will likely be extinct before long. change catching baskets and EZ pass sensors are equally qualified and don't require a 401k plan. i never seen anyone make an extra effort to make my toll paying more enjoyable. i don't understand how this became worthy of automatic gratitude while so many others receive turned cheeks.

WASTED ALLOWANCE

i was given a small allowance as a boy. my parents, i assume, did so to teach me the value of a dollar. i had forced myself to maintain my manners and help out around the household in order to get my grubby hands on some of those sweet greenbacks at the week's end. sure enough, come wednesday, i would come groveling back for more.

"Where'd your allowance go?" mom would ask.
usually, my answer was plucked from a hat holding only three choices.
candy.
video games.
comic books.

instead of holding onto my small wage for something more worthwhile, i wasted it on things i didn't need. bad habits seen through the eyes of a parent, but ones which could lead me to one day becoming our nation's president.

the legislative and executive branches of our government have been butting heads since the congressional elections last year. lately, the arm wrestling has centered around a military funding bill. the president refuses to pass it due to the troop withdrawal deadlines that have been added. there in lies the debate. not the actual dollar amount that the bill will allocate to fund the middle east war effort. everyone is in agreement there. an additional $126.2 billion. not if, but when this bill passes, we, the tax payers, will have spent a total of $456 billion dollars funding this war on terror.

$456,000,000,000.00

that's just for the war effort. today, while looking more into this disturbing bit of information, i came across an article on The Boston Globe's website that proposes some alternate options for spending that money, had we not gotten enveloped in this mess. i summarized it below, but feel free to check out the original here.

• 2,949 Newton North High Schools (the most expensive, state of the art high school in Massachusetts. it educates over 2,000 students and boasts a full dramatic theater, dance studio, pool, TV studio, extensive art department and photography darkrooms, and much more)

• free gas for everyone for 1.2 years

• for 1/6 of the 456 billion (or about 1/2 of the amount stated in the upcoming bill), the federal government could pick up the tab for converting every registered vehicle in the united stated to run on ethanol. a conversion with a measly $500 price tag.

• 14.5 million full 1-year scholarship to Harvard

• medicare benefits for 2008 (with a 2 billion left over for candy)

• according to the World Bank's estimates, $456 billion could keep the entire planet's impoverished both fed and educated without assistance for 5.5 years.

next years descretionary budget will, as of now, be doling out $717 billion to military and department of defense spending. that's approximately 66%. meanwhile, the federally funded NEA (National Endowment for the Arts), which provides financial support and grants toward artistic excellence and education, will be receiving a mere $121 million annually - 1%. almost seven times that will be spent on bullets.

CHECK YO SELF

DISCLAIMER:

***back to back rants. my apologies. i sent someone a message which became a spout off on this topic, leading to my realization that i've got a lot more to say about it. i've been rocking a lot of new music lately and am always checking out the quality flicks that breeze through my local cineplexes. i keep intending to write up some reviews, but either get distracted, or revert to some other topic half way through, deleting what i'd started. consider this a disclaimer.

and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

self-checkout lanes have been popping up everywhere over the past few years. maybe this is isolated to my neck of the woods. if that's the case, to explain, its basically a line without a cashier. you scan it yourself. you bag it yourself. you tear your own receipt. simple enough, right? these self-checkouts are featured predominantly in grocery stores. every grocery store i go to has at least four of them. lately, i've been seeing them in retail stores like target and wal-mart. everyone's got self-checkout fever! come bask in the glorious convenience of technology. the idea is to speed up the payment and receiving process. we've all finished our food shopping only to find a mere 2 lanes open, each with a dozen full carts in waiting. with self checkout, four lanes can run with only one supervising employee.

my friend refuses to use them. he feels that these machines are outsourcing jobs from america's able bodied youth. while i agree, i'm not as strict with my principles. plus, in rebuttal, these machines don't build and maintain themselves...and i don't know of anyone who achieved their childhood dreams by climbing the grocery store corporate ladder.

my problem isn't actually the machines, its the people using them. some individuals turn the speed and convenience into stagnation and confusion. as a result, i've developed new stereotypes to increase my chances of avoiding deadlocked checkout traffic.

the vegetable eaters:

broccoli. carrots. belgian endive. none of these come with scan-able bar codes. instead, you have to set it on the scanner to be weighed, then either type in its designated 4 digit number or find it in a huge, slow loading produce picture library. sometimes its not even in the library. they could put the number in, if they knew that were an option, but most don't. the number is usually found on the little stickers on apples, oranges, peppers, etc., but not on loose wet vegetables like spinach, cabbage, herbs, and so on. if you're really observant, steer clear of any line with cabbage buyers.

the elderly:

two reasons, really, and i'm going to use the word "tend" a lot. old people tend to be set in their ways. they tend to continue to operate with there outdated technologies and comfortable familiar ways. in my grandparents minds, why have a DVD player if there's a working VCR? why worry about a CD player if the radio works fine? most old people tend to have no reason for owning a computer, and therefore tend to see no reason to learn how to use one (i spent an hour last week explaining how to use the computer at the library to find a book. in thanks, the old lady gave me a peppermint. score!). when faced with a scanner, a bagging system with a scale and a touch screen, expect bewilderment... and reason two. wheelchairs, walkers and canes should set off the warning lights. its a hands on process, folks, and these accessories can and will become quite inhibitive.

the cash carriers:

we've all been faced with a vending machine or change machine that just wouldn't accept our mangled bills. these same dollar takers are used in most self-checkout lanes. if that's all they have or if they're stubborn enough, you'll likely stand there scoffing as mr. or mrs. moneybags repeated forces their cash in, the machine sucks it up, then spits it out. repeat. repeat. repeat.

the over zealous:

some people can't move fast enough. in most cases that's fantastic, but this isn't one of them. say your buying peanut butter, jelly and a loaf of bread. you scan the 16 oz. jar of peanut butter. beep beep. "place in bagging area" appears on the screen. what they don't tell you is that the bagging area has a scale under it to prevent stealing. you have to wait a couple seconds for the scale to register that you just put something weighing 16 oz. in the bag, compare it to what was scanned and approve it. if you jump the proverbial gun, scanning and bagging the jelly before these few seconds have elapsed, it freezes until the clerk comes to void it. this happens A LOT so its likely that this could take a minute as the clerk is likely helping someone else who did the same thing.

so...the safest bets? 18 - 30 year olds. these people are the most technologically savvy this nation's got. they are the cell phone yakking, video game playing, myspace socializing, text message typing, debit card swiping generation. they all have computers. they also tend to shop light. college kids rarely buy more than 10 items at once. also, the younger they are, the more likely they've recently had a job doing just this.

WALKIE TALKIES

i resisted cell phones for a long time. i was one of the last of my friends to get one. i didn't like the idea of being considered "always available". sometimes, i just like to be by myself. also, i had seen how people's manners suffered as a result of the convenience of cellular technology. more than once i've seen two people, sitting in a decent restaurant enjoying a nice meal together, while one of them chats on a phone.

some people are really obnoxious on the phone. they talk extra loud. and there is always someone talking somewhere, on a phone, wherever you go. silence has lost its value, along with the time spent with others.

my compromise to myself was i'd only get a cell phone if it was my only phone. while working in the restaurant industry, i decided it was time. it was hard for me to ever connect with people otherwise, since my hours became opposite to the rest of the world. still, i treated it as i treat any telephone. i take calls, for the most part, in private. unless its an emergency scenario, i don't abandon the company of my friends at a ring.

i think society is distancing itself from itself. with cell phones, and myspace, text messaging and email. we get further and further away from each other. hiding in bubbles and space between.

i'm getting away from the point i wanted to address. how did the walkie talkie phone feature become so popular? is it that people were paranoid that the general public didn't believe they were actually talking to another person? its bad enough that i always half to overhear half conversations every place i go. now i get to hear the other side, connected with obnoxious beeps, fuzz, static and squawk. with these walkie talkie things, people speak up into the phone that's now away from the mouth, oblivious to anyone other than themselves.

now, honestly, i love having a cell phone. its nice to call someone up when your not at home, get help when you're lost, be reached when your away. its a wonderful convenient technology. but maybe this convenient technology (isn't all technology these days about convenience?) is making us all walk through life in isolation. blocking the sounds of the world out with ipods. disregarding genuine connection for banal chit chat.

simply speaking, don't forget the rest of the world.

HISTORIC MYTHS

a great book that i recommend often, though a bit dry at times (it is a history book), is A People's History of The United States by Howard Zinn. Zinn is a respected historian and professor who writes about history from the less seen perspectives. from the poor. the women. the minorities. the book is incredible in that it exposes how our sense of history has been passed onto us through rosy colored glasses. the history we're taught is that as told by the government, the conquerors and the diplomats. the rich white men in power. we never heard the whole story in school. many times, we never even heard the true story. many of the great heros from our country's founding were actually quite dispicable characters.

Columbus, for instance, was a blood thirsty tyrant. its horrible that time has sugar coated the man in lies. most folks are aware that chris never discovered america. the closest he came was the Bahamas. the deal columbus made: Spain wanted gold and it was known that asia had it (where chris thought he was). if he brought it back, 10% was his, along with land and a governorship and the title of admiral of the seas. shortly after landing and being wholely welcomed by the natives, he seized what little gold the arawak indians had (usually offered willingly). he then enslaved them, sending his men out to take and kill at will. they did so for amusement. over a period of about 15 years, its thought that several million natives died as a result of murder, enslavement and forced mining.

that's chapter 1.

anyway, i was reminded of this book after coming across a list of historic facts that aren't facts at all. its pretty alarming to discover that some bit of information you always held as definitive truth turns out to be skewed or completely fabricated.

HISTORIC MYTHS

Eve ate a bad apple

nowhere in the story of Adam and Eve is an apple mentioned. it is simply called "the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden" (genesis 3:3). it could have been an apple, but it might just as well have been any other sort of fruit.

Walt Disney drew Mickey Mouse
Mickey was the vision of Disney's number one animator, Ub Iwerks. Disney, never a great artist, would always have trouble drawing the character who made him famous.

Marie Antoinette said "Let them each cake"
in 1766, Jean Jacques Rousseau wrote of an incident he recalled from some 25 years earlier, in which "a great princess" was told that the country people had no bread. "then let them eat cake," she replied. when Rousseau wrote of this, Marie Antoinette was an 11-year-old child in Austria. the french revolution would not begin for another 23 years. the myth that she spoke these infamous words was probably spread by revolutionary propagandists, to illustrate her cold indifference to the plight of the French people.

Witches were burned at stake in Salem
the Salem witch trials of 1692 led to the arrests of 150 people, of whom 31 were tried and 20 were executed. first, of the 31 condemned "witches"... 6 of them were men. they were not burned at stake. hanging was the usual method - though one was crushed to death under heavy stones.

Napoleon was a small man
some people believe that Napoleon's domineering ambitions were to compensate for being so physically small... true, Napoleon was called le petit corporal ("the little corporal"), but he was 5' 7" - taller than the average 18th century Frenchman. So why the nickname? Early in his military career, soldiers used it to mock his relatively low rank. The name stuck...

Magellan circumnavigated the world
Magellan only made it half-way around the world (he was killed by natives in the Philippines), leaving it to his second-in-command, Juan Sebastian Elcano, to complete the circumnavigation.

Shakespeare wrote the story of Hamlet
...most of his plays were not original, but adaptations of earlier stories. "The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark" (1603), probably his most famous play, was based on an ancient Scandinavian story.

America became independent on July 4, 1776
as most American school children (and many non-American ones) are aware, America's founding fathers signed the declaration of independence on July 4, 1776. However, the war raged for another seven years before independence from England was finally granted on September 3, 1783. On that day, Britain's George III and US leaders signed the Definitive Treaty of Peace.

Edison invented the electric light
...most Edison inventions were the work of his unsung technicians - and his most famous invention, the electric light, didn't even belong to his laboratory. 4 decades before Edison was born, english scientist Sir Humphry Davy invented arc lighting (using a carbon filament)... The achievement of Edison's lab was to find the right filament that would burn for days on end. A major achievement, but not the first.

Columbus proved that the Earth was round
...most educated Europeans in Columbus's day knew that the world was round. since the 4th century BC, almost nobody has believed that the Earth is flat... Columbus thought that the Earth was pear-shaped. He set sail to prove... that Asia was much closer than anyone thought. Even in this, he was wrong...

Jesus was born on December 25
...there is no evidence whatsoever, biblical or otherwise, that he was actually born on that day. nor is there anything to suggest that he was born in a manger, or that there were three wise men... there are differing views as to why December 25 was chosen as Christmas day, but one of the most interesting is that the day was already celebrated by followers of Mithras, the central god of a Hellenistic cult that developed in the Eastern Mediterranean around 100 BC. The followers of this faith believed that Mithras was born of a virgin on 25 December, and that his birth was attended by shepherds...

George Washington was America's first President
...during the American Revolution, the Continental Congress (or the 'United States in Congress Assembled') chose Peyton Randolph as the first President. Under Randolph, one of their first moves was to create the Continental Army (in defence against Britain), appointing General Washington as its commander. Randolph was succeeded in 1781 by John Hancock, who presided over independence from Great Britain (see myth #6). After Washington defeated the British at the Battle of Yorktown, Hancock sent him a note of congratulations. Washington's reply was addressed to "The President of the United States". Eight years later, as a revered war hero, Washington himself became America's first popularly elected President - but strictly speaking, the 15th president.

*taken (and paraphrased slightly) from an article written by Noivedya Juddery. Noivedya is a writer and journalist based in Australia.

THE LURE OF THE FAMOUS

i've been thinking about all the attention the news media has been giving to stories formerly only of interest to tabloid rags. after some deliberation, i think i've conjured a theory as to why this is happening. maybe i'm right. maybe i'm wrong. as i said, its just a theory.

since birth, we're raised in a society of competition. competing for parental attention. competing in organized sports. competing in the classroom. competing for jobs. competing for lovers. even if there isn't a designated winner and loser, in a capitalist democracy, almost everything is still a competition of one shade or another. essentially, we're taught that in order to get what we want, we must be better than the others who also want the same thing. nowadays, Americans are pushed to achieve highly in three areas: beauty, wealth and success.

we can't always be the best. in fact, in most cases, we're not. whether acknowledged or not, it stings to lose. the damage is to the self esteem.

enter the celebrities of America. the famous people that everyone knows. they're beautiful and ridiculously wealthy and famous (usually) for their success. because of these things, they've reached the pinnacles in all three branches of achievement that we're all supposedly striving for. thus, they are revered. at the same time, they are resented with envy and ridiculed without mercy. its the competitor in us lashing out.

when one of these celebrities flounders, we feel better about ourselves. say a child star turns to porn or a pop singing princess shaves her head in the midst of a drug binge. they may still have wealth and beauty and success, but somehow, we feel at least equal to or superior to them. instead of the feelings of bitterness and jealousy, we're brimming with pride. you and i would never stoop so low as to marry our talentless back up dancer. we'd surely never spout out an anti-Semitic rant in the middle of our D.U.I arrest. none of us would sleep with a 90 year old solely for their hundreds of millions of dollars. well, maybe not.

its like finding out that your biggest role model wets the bed. suddenly, the person who was always better than you isn't as flawless as you believed. if you aren't looking up to someone, you don't feel so small.

...but its just a theory.

TAKE OUR MEDIA BACK

American news looks more and more like the tabloids everyday. headlining stories are all the same. mostly fear mongering and celebrity gossip. the blame spreads out far. the broadcasting companies are looking for the highest ratings, so they pursue stories that will garner the most interest amongst viewers. the journalists concede a bit of dignity to keep in their boss' good graces. it is 'we the people' that are the most responsible. we provide those ratings. we tune in night after night for the news we demand - endless stories of brangelina and tomkat.

why are we obsessed with celebrities? if someone notable does something remarkable or a long standing icon passes away, i'll agree that it needs to be covered. what's disturbing is when every news channel reports endlessly for days on the inconsequential garbage. paris hilton and anna nicole smith have become stars for being little more than talentless bimbos. famous only for their fame. apparently, people can't hear enough about american idol. it took a movie for millions of Americans to learn about global warming. Madonna's African adoption fiasco. who's wearing what on the red carpet. who they're dating. when they have babies. their political views. none of this is information that poses any real effect. Americans are far too consumed in their own entertainment.

its not hard to understand why we, as a nation, are so disliked. we're stereotypically seen as self absorbed, lazy and ignorant. as pompous, domineering, cocky and power hungry. more people voted for their favorite american idol finalist than in the the last presidential election. we're slaves to advertising. we watch more television than anyone. our role models are actors. professional liars. TV Guide, People Magazine and Us Weekly are some of our top selling magazines. these are all facts that should disgust you.

last week, Anna Nicole Smith died. it should have been, at best, a 10 second blurb. a footnote. instead, every major station followed this "news" for days. its not so much what the television producers choose to report on that bothers me, its what they allow to slip through the cracks. i listen to public radio fairly regularly and heard some leads during that time span that were not being reported on the 6 o'clock news. these are all things that most people didn't hear about due to the media onslaught of Ms. Smith's untimely death.

*in an attempt to stop an outbreak of avian bird flu in Great Britain, the British were forced to slaughter thousand of turkeys.

*researchers have just managed to stop light, hold it trapped in a cloud of chilled atoms called Bose Einstein condensate, and then release it in a second cloud a short distance away.

*the pentagon released a report last friday which suggests that the undersecretary of the department of defense manipulated pre-war intelligence to heighten fears of a connection between Iraq and Al-Qaida.

*another U.S. helicopter was shot down last weekend in Iraq. it was the 5th in a series of recent "crashes".

i stopped watching the news a long time ago. i turn to NPR, PBS or the New York Times. i shouldn't have to. we need to realize that important events happen outside of Hollywood. more importantly, we need to start caring about it.

SAMARITANS

if my car had a face, i'd give it a black eye.

for the past couple months, my car has had power issues. i've come out to a dead battery about a half dozen times since thanksgiving. it seems as though something is pulling power when its not running so if i don't drive it for an extended period of time, its drained dead. it happens at random times so its hard to predict and no one seems to be able to pinpoint the voltage gobbler.

due to this situation, this morning found me standing in the cold of winter hoping for a hand from a stranger. after opening the door and realizing the interior light didn't illuminate, i popped the trunk and grabbed my jumper cables. i bought a jump start battery pack about a month ago but it never worked (at least not on my hog. on other's cars, it never fails). with the hood open, i stood beside my car, a few feet out into the street, cables under arm or tossed over my shoulder. i mustered the most pathetic facial expression possible and held it as each car came down my street. i tried to visually convey how cold it was. the more guilt the better.

car after car after car passed by. many times, once they saw me and realized the situation they were approaching, they gunned it. more cars and still no one stops. i couldn't have expressed in any clearer way that i was in distress. i stood there hoping. another car. a half hour went by. that turned into an hour. 90 minutes elapsed and nothing. i was on the verge of throwing money at motorists to get them to stop when finally i met a good samaritan. it wasn't until an hour and 40 after i lifted the hood that someone pulled over and asked if i needed help.

"yes! thanks so, so, so much! you're really helping me out of a jam! really, thanks! i didn't think anyone would help me out! thank you! i didn't know how much longer i could handle this wind. thanks again! bless you!"

me, of all people, said "bless you", and she didn't even sneeze.

i went on about good karma. how it all comes around. that her kindness will be rewarded.

as joyous as i was for five miutes, it wasn't long before i remembered the morning that preceded it. we all want peace on earth but what happened to good will towards men? i finally got the juice i needed to get where i had to go, but it took almost two hours. 30 some odds drivers whizzed past, turning their heads away. shielding their eyes behind their warm hands as if they didn't notice me. it's a good deed that wouldn't be more than a 4 or 5 minute sacrifice of time. its not as though i appeared threatening. i've never ran for my life from a guy in a sports coat wielding yellow rubber wires. especially not at 9:00 in the morning in 10 degree weather. actually, they don't even have to get out of the comfort and heat of the cars. lock the doors as i approach. i wouldn't mind. but why turn an apathetic cheek?

just stop and help a brother out.