VISIONAIRY

shortly after my 16th birthday, i went to take my driving test. excited about the liberation that being a licensed driver brings, i quickly aced the written exam. the following week i made the driving test look like child's play. after exiting my vehicle and entering the DMV to fill out the paperwork, i realized there was one simple test left. the eye exam. i failed.

i'd never had any inclination that my vision was any different from any other pair of normal functioning eyeballs. turns out i was slightly near sighted. enough so that i'd require glassed before i could be issued a license. i felt thoroughly beaten, but went out anyway, got glasses and returned the next week for my little laminated card.

my glasses only survived about a week. a few days after getting them, i dropped them, then accidentally stepped on them. as a result, the right lens kept popping out of the frame. it only took me a couple days to get sick of constantly repairing them so i just kept them in my jacket pocket. a week passed. i had a headache one night and my mom suggested it could be caused from squinting. thinking i'd immediately be cured if i wore my corrective lenses i sifted through my pockets for them. gone. no where to be found. they must have fallen out. never to be seen again.

i never got new glasses. my parents tried to take me back to the optometrist a few times but i insisted that i had no troubles seeing. i weaseled my way out of it.

years went by.

in 1999, i got a summer job while in college that required i pass a department of transportation physical. no sweat, or so i thought, until i was led to an eye chart. the standard rotated letter E type. somehow, i passed without any apparent complications. "strange", thought me to myself.

then in 2005, after a series of headaches, i started to think that maybe i should get my eyes checked out again. finally get a new pair of spectacles. after getting the works it was determined that not only did i not need glasses, but my eyes were better than 20/20. the doctor then told me a story about Elton John. he said that Elton never needed them, but started sporting funky glasses during performances. this became a habit. eventually, his eyes became dependant and changed to the point that he now requires them all the time. though he was surprised to say it, its possible that my eyes warped and fixed themselves.

in conclusion: i'm pretty sure i have super powers. though i'm not about to attempt it in the off chance that i'm wrong, it's more than likely that if part of me were injured, say my arm was severed clean off, a new one would grow back in its place. also, as i write this, my eyes are probably getting even better. probably at too a slow rate for me to easily notice (you can see through stone too, right?). eventually, i'll probably be able to see the space time continuum. that or heat ray vision. maybe, if i concentrate hard enough, i can shape any part of myself into whatever i want. like the wonder twins.

activate!

i'll work on it and keep you posted.

SAMARITANS

if my car had a face, i'd give it a black eye.

for the past couple months, my car has had power issues. i've come out to a dead battery about a half dozen times since thanksgiving. it seems as though something is pulling power when its not running so if i don't drive it for an extended period of time, its drained dead. it happens at random times so its hard to predict and no one seems to be able to pinpoint the voltage gobbler.

due to this situation, this morning found me standing in the cold of winter hoping for a hand from a stranger. after opening the door and realizing the interior light didn't illuminate, i popped the trunk and grabbed my jumper cables. i bought a jump start battery pack about a month ago but it never worked (at least not on my hog. on other's cars, it never fails). with the hood open, i stood beside my car, a few feet out into the street, cables under arm or tossed over my shoulder. i mustered the most pathetic facial expression possible and held it as each car came down my street. i tried to visually convey how cold it was. the more guilt the better.

car after car after car passed by. many times, once they saw me and realized the situation they were approaching, they gunned it. more cars and still no one stops. i couldn't have expressed in any clearer way that i was in distress. i stood there hoping. another car. a half hour went by. that turned into an hour. 90 minutes elapsed and nothing. i was on the verge of throwing money at motorists to get them to stop when finally i met a good samaritan. it wasn't until an hour and 40 after i lifted the hood that someone pulled over and asked if i needed help.

"yes! thanks so, so, so much! you're really helping me out of a jam! really, thanks! i didn't think anyone would help me out! thank you! i didn't know how much longer i could handle this wind. thanks again! bless you!"

me, of all people, said "bless you", and she didn't even sneeze.

i went on about good karma. how it all comes around. that her kindness will be rewarded.

as joyous as i was for five miutes, it wasn't long before i remembered the morning that preceded it. we all want peace on earth but what happened to good will towards men? i finally got the juice i needed to get where i had to go, but it took almost two hours. 30 some odds drivers whizzed past, turning their heads away. shielding their eyes behind their warm hands as if they didn't notice me. it's a good deed that wouldn't be more than a 4 or 5 minute sacrifice of time. its not as though i appeared threatening. i've never ran for my life from a guy in a sports coat wielding yellow rubber wires. especially not at 9:00 in the morning in 10 degree weather. actually, they don't even have to get out of the comfort and heat of the cars. lock the doors as i approach. i wouldn't mind. but why turn an apathetic cheek?

just stop and help a brother out.

SIGHT UNSEEN

"sight unseen"

the camouflage of scattered light
can blind it all away,
the sight is hard to hold onto
when memories decay,
connect unspoken dialogues
upon less traveled streets,
the lights can burn out when it counts,
some history repeats

trees hold hands between the clouds,
eyelashes interlace,
a portrait hangs on crooked nail,
abstraction hides the face.
the street has felt feet standing here,
a thousand steps before.
eyes will keep from opening
if you always lock the door

the grief is for a missing song,
but hope can find new beats.
some lights can burn holes through the dark,
some history repeats.

THE LEFT HANDED HANDSHAKE

being left handed in a world dominated by righties is a little awkward. so many things are designed specifically for people with right hand dominance. if you're part of the 85% of right handers, you probably haven't even noticed, but us "sinister" folk have. we have to resist the urge of what feels most comfortable to us just to survive. we want to do just about everything backwards. we're freaks like that.

we're disadvantaged all over the place. for instance, we can't see anything we write without hooking our hand around and if we use a spiral notebook, it digs into our wrist. i can only barely operate a can opener. scissors cut on the wrong side. school desks have arm rests for the righties while we were left to dangle. the buttons on the mouse. manual transmission cars. the list goes on...

...and on.

...and on.

we've been forced to adapt.
i've withstood the persecution. i think i'm stronger for it. i kind of like being part of a minority. i'm ready to march on washington with my left fist pumping into the sky if the occassion arose. i bet i could think up some clever slogans to chant. i've also become interested in my left heritage (i have to make up for my mish mash of national origins somehow). i share the honor with some greats.

Leonardo, Michelangelo, Picasso - all lefties.

Method Man, Bill Clinton, John McEnroe - card carrying members.

and maybe it means i use the right hemisphere of my brain more than most. i like that side better anyway. its way cooler than the stupid left hemisphere. and research has shown that lefties think faster due to quicker communication between the halves of the brain.

eventually, though, everyone draws a line in the sand. the handshake. my greeting. the first impression. without a second thought, the majority extends the right hand. the shake says a lot. the grip. duration. it all can mean something about who you are if you look into it. in this encounter, i'm staying true. to deny my left handedness is like denying who i am. so no more. i don't care if it results in awkward pauses, sissy finger squeezing or backing out of the shake entirely. i'm even willing to compromise with pounds. maybe a high five. just remember, it'll be coming from the left. i just wanted it to be known. if you see me, be prepared.

if someone you love is disabled with this affliction, show your support. offer the left. let them know you're there for them.

touch a heart today.

RUSTED ROOT

rusted root was one of those bands i kept almost seeing during my high school days. where i grew up, tours didn't often come very close to where i laid my head at night, so concerts became events. we'd drive a few hours without much hesitation if we could acquire tickets to see one of our favorite bands. rusted root definitely fit into the category, yet on two occasions when my friends and i were planning out the trek, for one reason or another, i had to withdraw my participation.

at long last, 10 years and 4 albums later, i finally made it to a show. the venue was small. fairly intimate. we stood maybe 30 feet from the stage. they opened with a few songs from When I Woke, including my favorite song, "Back To The Earth". in fact, they played the majority of the tracks off that album. about halfway through the performance, they pulled the plugs and played about a half dozen songs sans electricity. it was definitely groovy but since most of the songs are essentially acoustic anyway, it wasn't much of a departure from the versions i was accustomed to. after jacking back into their amps, they debuted a few new songs they've been working on, then began warning of the impending "Ecstasy". i think they knew the crowd would riot without it. they left only to return quickly with two encores, the first of which was only Mike Glabicki and a guitar, playing a song from his yet unreleased solo album. in the end, they all gathered into a chorus line, front and center, and thanked the crowd with a series of stage bows. they tossed their respective picks and drum sticks into the crowd and hopped off to the merchandise table.

even though they haven't put forth an album of new material in 5 years, the group still exceeds the energy only hinted at on any one of their albums. they played hard for a few hours, extending almost every song to at least double-length with jamming drum freak outs and improvised acoustic guitar strumming. they even went off into Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" and Dylan's "All Along The Watch Tower" as bridges for gaps between songs. Glabicki undoubtedly knows his way around the fret board and his vocals are tremendously complimented by the soulful wails of Liz Berlin. they have two percussionists (at least) on nearly every song. added to that is the random cabassas, bongos, flutes, whistles, tambourines, and shakers used to keep rhythm by the ladies on either side of the stage. dancing was irresistible. there was nary a body in the house not at least swaying to the beat. its just fervent music that hits you in the guts. especially during "Drum Trip/Ecstasy". the masses exploded within the first few notes of their most popular songs. though i didn't see any bras or panties flying towards the stage, the swooning gestures of the girls in close proximity to me kept no secrets hidden of their fondness for the band.

climactically, i can scratch that off my list of regrets.