Monday, May 28, 2007

NEWS ON THE RUNT FRONT

several months ago, i wrote about the banana runt. the odd man out in an otherwise tasty assortment of fruity flavors. i wondered, and still do, as to how this gross flavor has managed to stand the test of time.

not long after, i saw new runts at an airport newstand. two new flavors and one flavor taken out of the rotation. lime was no more but now we are treated with blue raspberry and watermelon. and yet, banana still shows its ugly curved yellow mug.

...but wait. the winds of change blow strong at the willy wonka candy factory. last week, while perusing the aisles of wal-mart, a shelf of orange boxes catches my eye. a whole shelf of runts. as i picked up a box, i noticed that the raspberry and watermelon flavors are hanging tough, but as i set them back in their place, i noticed an unopened case further back. curiosity made me pull it out.

new flavors!

i knelt to the floor in silent exuberance. two new flavors, and so soon after the last flavors overhaul? it seems they're seeing things as i had and went with some more tropical tastes. somehow banana still drifts throughout, but now it shares company with pineapple and mango. unfortunately, its a little bittersweet. lime is still gone, but so, too, is cherry. one of my favorites. i find it hard to believe that more people like banana than cherry. as i looked a little odd sitting on the floor, rifling through a case of runts, i bought a box of each for further analysis.

the plot thickens. the mango/pineapple runts box was bilingual. unlike the other box, its had both English and Spanish text. were these intended for a latin destination, only to be hijacked at sea by wal-mart pirates to keep "selling for less"?

that's my theory.

4 comments:

Paul said...

you gotta stop keeping the banana down. what did it ever do to you? Have you slipped on a peel? The banana is different... think about how tough it must be for poor old banana, all bright yellow, a strange shape .. this one truly does not look like the others. Maybe you should take a lesson from the prophet M. Jackson and change your ways by starting with the man in the mirror.
STOP HATRED,ACCEPT BANANA!!!!!

Monica said...

I'm so glad my letters to the manufacture finally paid off - cherry & lime are history! Keep it up and that pink one (what is it - strawberry?) will be next.

Rod said...

I can't believe they did away with cherry, I've been sending letters of outrage to nestle (wonka's parent company) and they said they would forward them to their wonka division.
PS. Pineapple and mango are nasty. I MISS CHERRY!!

Monica said...

and it continues...a couple of hours ago in Walmart. "Sabores Nuevos" - just like you said a lone pack on the candy shelf.
It was in less than perfect condition, so I searched for a backup - but found none.
I have big expectations! :)
I guess they haven't recieved your letter about banana yet (wow what a memory).