Monday, January 22, 2007

BANANA RUNTS

its one of the great mysteries of the universe.
when one encounters a banana runt in the otherwise delicious fruity kaleidoscope of runt flavors, the typical response is to move on. i've known few people who enjoyed the phony banana candy, but i've never encountered anyone who claimed them as their favorite. yet still, the runt remains. willy wonka, the maker of this and a number of other sugary confections, obviously sees something i don't. possibly yellow dye is the cheapest. maybe it requires the least amount of flavoring. either way, i think its time to cut the losses and move on. maybe grape is ready for its time to shine. almost everyone likes pineapple. that would keep with the tropical element banana brought to the table. or mango for that matter. mango is highly underrated. i'd even be willing to accept lemon.

lemon.
that's a whole other animal.

lemon spoils a mouthful of mike & ike's. whenever i buy a pack of starbursts, i count the ratio of flavors. weird? sure, but i've discovered that lemon out numbers any other single flavor in the original assortment. in the rare case that its not dominant, orange (the second worst) takes the prize. ask anyone what their favorite starburst flavor is. the vast majority will tell you either strawberry or cherry. on more than one occasion, i've fought for the last cherry. lemon, at least in the taffy world, needs a replacement. maybe i'll start a petition. state the proposal from a grass roots level. from a marketing standpoint alone, i would think that cutting back on the lemons and cranking production up on the cherry and strawberry would sell more candy. aren't candy makers trying to turn a profit like the rest of us? they could try a little harder.

THIS JUST IN:
i was in the airport recently and while waiting for the boarding call of my flight, i perused the candy counter of a nearby news stand. to my joy, i noticed they carried runts. in the movie theater sized jumbo box no less. i made the transaction and scurried off to my gate.

it wasn't until i was settled on the plane that i pulled the box from my pocket. bold neon letters in the top corner exclaimed "New Flavors!" can it be? i tore the box open and sifted through a fistful to see what was added and what was discontinued. sadly, they've given lime the boot, and seemingly replaced it with the an even more sour watermelon. also, they've tacked on blue raspberry (which was an unexpected delight). banana is still in abundance.

10 comments:

Monica said...

As you already know I love the shit out of the banana runts! And I'm sure this will prompt others to come foward!..come on speak up

Paul said...

long live the banana. It truely is the forbidden fruit in this cornacopia of runts. I question if runts would be what they are today, without the complexity of yellow dye, natural and artifical flavors and that great odd shape. Here's to banana! hooray!

Rod said...

Banana = Goodness

Anonymous said...

you know. you're probably the reason they have pineapple and mango flavored runts now. and they still contain the banana.

Karissa Muir said...

banana runts are my favorite, 4 of my cousin's favorite, my mom's favorite, both of my brother's favorite.......
the list goes on and on...
EVERY ONE LOVES BANANA RUNTS.

George said...

My wife goes to the mall to shop. I go to hit the candy kiosk and Orient Express. We don't have a "Candy Store" to speak of in Charlottesville, but the candy vendors have a "Banana Runt" only candy machine. I usually get about $5.00 (in quarters) everytime I get those banana-licious little yellow beauties. I carry them in a large mint tin. It's want I carry with me to the movies and keep in the desk drawer at work. I remember my grandfather always had butterscotch lifesavers to hand out. Me, it will be banana runts!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THE BANANAS!!! My kids and I fight over them!!!

Anonymous said...

I save the banana for last, as it is the BEST flavor. I would be horrified if it should ever go away. Long live the Banana Runt!

Anonymous said...

You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view

Anonymous said...

I'm very pleased to see that someone else would like to see the banana runts eliminated altogether. I had a roomate when I was a teenager that lost a tooth on the banana runt. Here you have all this sweet and sour flavors going on and then comes along the banana to ruin all of this mouthfull of excitement. We need to start a worldwide petition to WW for the immediate elimination of the banana's!