Thursday, April 24, 2008

100

welcome to the 100th post at
THE COMBUSTIBLE ENGINEER!


i wasn't entirely sure how this milestone should've been celebrated. for a minute, i thought i'd just add the little heading at the top, then write another one of my typical posts. more business as usual. brush it aside like its no big deal, and really... its not.

upon further deliberation, i realized that it needs more attention than that. something out of the ordinary to mark the occasion. but what? i googled for other blogs who celebrated their 100th posting and found that most people chose not to celebrate their blog, but themselves. typically with 100 personal facts. that seemed too self absorbed for my blood. i saw someone else who wrote a sentence synopsis of each of the previous 100 entries to honor them. that seemed like a redundant waste of time.

instead, i'm choosing to honor the fallen soldiers.

in blogging, as you write a post, it autosaves the draft every minute or so. it remains a mere draft until you elect to "publish" it, making it public and visible for all the world to see. there have been many times when i had an idea i wanted to write about but was pressed for time and only got a few sentences down. there have been times when i thought i had a clever approach but ended up hitting a dead end. there have been times when i began writing but by the time i came back to finish it, it wasn't that interesting to me any more. 28 times actually. whatever the reason, these drafts have been sitting in the ether collecting virtual dust.

so, in their honor, i present to you a tribute to the ghosts of blogs that never were:

"M.I.L.F."
(reason: i wanted to find the specific instances on tv to quote them in the post but never did. also, the post was written poorly, more as an outline of ideas.)
i had noticed that the term "m.i.l.f." had been popping up on late night television. then started hearing it in prime time and even once in the evening news. i speculated on how an acronym for "doing someone's mom" became acceptable in light hearted conversation.

"THE MIRROR GAME"
(reason: never finished and then forgotten. it may potentially get a full treatment some day, as its a fairly funny story)
i heard that mirroring someones behavior is a subconscious way of building an unspoken connection between two people. its commonly seen in flirting. i described a day at work in which i reflected the personalities & mannerisms of people who came into our shop to try and boost sales. mostly, it was about a disheveled fellow who swore like a trucker and his compliments about my laugh, which sounded remarkably similar to his own.

"THE WRITERS' STRIKE"
(reason: i realized the subject was a bit on the boring side. lots of information. i'd also been writing about TV a lot around the same time and thought i may be over doing it)
this was a point/counterpoint post about the writers' strike while it was still in the "talks" phase. i declared my support for their cause but feared a flood of new reality programming on TV.

"THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER"
(reason: i liked this one but wanted to revise it. the draft was overly lengthy)
this was a run down of the large hadron collider experiments by CERN, held deep underground beneath Switzerland and France. while a lot of people fear that the experiment could go horribly wrong, creating a big bang that implodes into a black hole, killing us all, i couldn't be more for it. i started listing scenarios in which we either create a race of physics defying super creatures, open wormholes between dimensions in space-time or at the very least, a boom era for science fiction writers and film makers.

"iDEAS FOR APPLE"
(reason: never completed. i had a list of idea but never went back to elaborate.)
after the release of the iPhone and a camping trip in which i declared my marshmallow toasting stick as my iStick, i was compelled to put forth some product ideas for apple in hopes of getting in on some of that sweet new gadget moolah. technologically upgraded things like fiber optic shoelaces, wi-fi braces for teens or flat screen television screens built into the tops of urinals, to name a few.

"FAME"
(reason: again, at the time, i was posting a lot on topics of my disdain for celebrities and thought i was beating a dead horse.)
i discuss the nature of fame. the financial perks. the get out of jail free cards. the opportunity to date sexy celebrities (and have people care about it). i then come to realize that fame generally sucks, and the best kind of fame is the kind that doesn't come until after you're dead. post mortem celebrity status.

"THE MUPPET SHOW"
(reason: while i'll stand by my position on the muppets 100%, this one made me sound like king of the super nerds)
the second season of The Muppet Show came out on DVD and i bought it the first day it hit the market. basically, i just listed a bunch of specifics on why the muppets, while helmed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz in the 70's and 80's, were nothing short of brilliant.

"LIGHTNING ROD"
(reason: never finished but i think one day it will be.)
i've always secretly kind of wanted to get struck by lightning. you hear about people being struck every so often but you never hear about them dying. it doesn't even cripple them. i'm sure it would hurt crazy bad, but how many people do you know who can say they're been struck by lightning.

"SIFL & OLLY"
(reason: not many people know about the show and its never on television any more, nor are any of the episodes available to buy, so i thought raving about something people can't access would be cruel.)
i procured bootleg DVDs of both seasons of The Sifl & Olly Show and the never aired third season through ebay. it was a program with a cast of sock puppets that aired on MTV in the early 90's. i went on about how funny sock puppets can be, how comedy does not require a big budget, what the creators had done since the show was cancelled and a brief psychoanalysis about why i seem to constantly be lured by the charms of clever ventriloquists.

"CURSE THE SUN"
(reason: never finished and started going off on to tangents.)
i talk about growing up in a house without the best insulation. how we felt the seasons inside. how it got very cold in the winter and really hot in the summer. i connect this to why i like the autumn months the best and why i feel i would much rather it be too cold then too hot. there's always room for another blanket or a thicker sweater, but you can only take off so much clothes before your spending time in prison. i then graphically explain why going to prison naked is a really, really, really bad idea.

THANKS FOR YOUR PATRONAGE!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This comment will not thrill you but Grover did a little waiter thing on Seaseme Street that was really funny.

Ever see it? Maybe I am the only one.

What good is being anonymous if people know who you are anyway?

The Combustible Engineer said...

i always related to Grover as a kid. we had a lot in common. plus, he sounded a lot like yoda to me (they're both voiced by Frank Oz).

and what is the point of being anonymous?

Anonymous said...

just too lazy to create a username and password..... you got to see of of grover's waiter stuff.... 2 o'clock, now's the waiter's time to eat.....

The Combustible Enginner said...

i don't vividly remember grover's waiter skits, but i definitely recall him playing a waiter several times. he had a towel hung over his arm in true food service fashion. that's actually a trick they used a lot to hide the wire that they used to control his arm. that's why miss piggy is either always carrying a handkerchief or holding onto her dress.

...and you don't have to sign up for anything to have your name posted with your comment. i don't care if you're anonymous or not, but if your want to leave your name, you just mark "name/url" and type it in.

Anonymous said...

Pfff too easy