"HEY MISTER, YOU LOOK LIKE A JERK!"
sometimes i go to the grocery store for lunch. the giant nearby has a decent salad bar and the price is right. i went there yesterday. mixed up a little ruffage, paid and left.
as i walked through the parking lot to my car, i heard some old lady voice. "Hey. Hey you." as it got louder, i realized the elderly voice was coming towards me from behind. assuming she was trying to get my attention, i stopped and turned. i see the short liitle woman, long white pony tail, still calling. she's about 30 feet away, trotting towards me.
"Hey. Hey you," she says.
"Yes. Is everything ok?", says I.
"You look just like Simon Cowell," she exclaims, out of breath.
I paused, trying to think of who she talking about with a confused expression.
"The jerk from American Idol. You look a lot like Simon. Do people tell you that al the time? I bet they do."
(realizing who Simon was now, read the rest of my responses with a british accent as that's how i said them. actually, its a little more australian but she couldn't tell the difference)
"Ah, you're the first, quite actually."
"Really?"
"People usually say i look like Denzel Wahington," I responded.
she didn't get it.
"Well, you do have quite a resemblance", she said, then turned and walked away.
i stood there and watched her for a few seconds, trying to digest what just went down. apparently, i look enough like someone famous, at least to her, that a woman of 80+ years felt uncontrollably compelled to run across a busy parking lot to tell me so. weird, i thought. as i got into my car it seemed even more strange. isn't he the most hated man on television? i don't watch the show but i know enough about pop culture to know that simon is the judge that treats everyone horribly and is flat out cruel. she even referred to him as "the jerk on American Idol". he's despised, right? what a strange "compliment".
so, in summary, an 80 year old lady that i never met ran across a parking lot full of traffic to insult me.
beat that.
as i walked through the parking lot to my car, i heard some old lady voice. "Hey. Hey you." as it got louder, i realized the elderly voice was coming towards me from behind. assuming she was trying to get my attention, i stopped and turned. i see the short liitle woman, long white pony tail, still calling. she's about 30 feet away, trotting towards me.
"Hey. Hey you," she says.
"Yes. Is everything ok?", says I.
"You look just like Simon Cowell," she exclaims, out of breath.
I paused, trying to think of who she talking about with a confused expression.
"The jerk from American Idol. You look a lot like Simon. Do people tell you that al the time? I bet they do."
(realizing who Simon was now, read the rest of my responses with a british accent as that's how i said them. actually, its a little more australian but she couldn't tell the difference)
"Ah, you're the first, quite actually."
"Really?"
"People usually say i look like Denzel Wahington," I responded.
she didn't get it.
"Well, you do have quite a resemblance", she said, then turned and walked away.
i stood there and watched her for a few seconds, trying to digest what just went down. apparently, i look enough like someone famous, at least to her, that a woman of 80+ years felt uncontrollably compelled to run across a busy parking lot to tell me so. weird, i thought. as i got into my car it seemed even more strange. isn't he the most hated man on television? i don't watch the show but i know enough about pop culture to know that simon is the judge that treats everyone horribly and is flat out cruel. she even referred to him as "the jerk on American Idol". he's despised, right? what a strange "compliment".
so, in summary, an 80 year old lady that i never met ran across a parking lot full of traffic to insult me.
beat that.
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1 comment:
Ok, so you don't need my response first but........Simon? Was she smoking something funny? I don't think you even come close to looking like him. He has dark wavy hair, and a strong jaw ( nothing negative about yours), but I can't see any resemblence. Maybe just the high and mighty attitude..........just kidding.. ; )
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