Saturday, February 10, 2007

THE LEFT HANDED HANDSHAKE

being left handed in a world dominated by righties is a little awkward. so many things are designed specifically for people with right hand dominance. if you're part of the 85% of right handers, you probably haven't even noticed, but us "sinister" folk have. we have to resist the urge of what feels most comfortable to us just to survive. we want to do just about everything backwards. we're freaks like that.

we're disadvantaged all over the place. for instance, we can't see anything we write without hooking our hand around and if we use a spiral notebook, it digs into our wrist. i can only barely operate a can opener. scissors cut on the wrong side. school desks have arm rests for the righties while we were left to dangle. the buttons on the mouse. manual transmission cars. the list goes on...

...and on.

...and on.

we've been forced to adapt.
i've withstood the persecution. i think i'm stronger for it. i kind of like being part of a minority. i'm ready to march on washington with my left fist pumping into the sky if the occassion arose. i bet i could think up some clever slogans to chant. i've also become interested in my left heritage (i have to make up for my mish mash of national origins somehow). i share the honor with some greats.

Leonardo, Michelangelo, Picasso - all lefties.

Method Man, Bill Clinton, John McEnroe - card carrying members.

and maybe it means i use the right hemisphere of my brain more than most. i like that side better anyway. its way cooler than the stupid left hemisphere. and research has shown that lefties think faster due to quicker communication between the halves of the brain.

eventually, though, everyone draws a line in the sand. the handshake. my greeting. the first impression. without a second thought, the majority extends the right hand. the shake says a lot. the grip. duration. it all can mean something about who you are if you look into it. in this encounter, i'm staying true. to deny my left handedness is like denying who i am. so no more. i don't care if it results in awkward pauses, sissy finger squeezing or backing out of the shake entirely. i'm even willing to compromise with pounds. maybe a high five. just remember, it'll be coming from the left. i just wanted it to be known. if you see me, be prepared.

if someone you love is disabled with this affliction, show your support. offer the left. let them know you're there for them.

touch a heart today.

3 comments:

Tim Engelhardt said...

I feel your pain. The world is built with the right handers in mind. It is a cruel world. But, it one that we can take over. I am working on a plan of global domination. That is all I am permitted to say. Left handers unite.

Monica said...

Putting aside the whole stupid left hemisphere comment; I have just the thing to make amends for what my people have done to yours – please except this small sign of understanding….just wait…you’ll know it when you see it (I hope).

Righties Rule, Lefties Drool (I crack myself up)

No seriously you’ll know when you see it.

TYLER said...

"left handers unite"
i like that idea. maybe its time we unionized. notify the ACLU. maybe put together a college fund. lefties, as of now, are already comparable to a secret society. it wouldn't be too broad of a leap. my brother, also left dominant, and i sit together at every holiday meal. its not pre-planned or discussed in any way. to avoid elbow bumping, one of us takes a corner and the other sits to their right. maybe its a psychic connection made through our higher developed right hemispheres. we just relate on an unspoken level. this marvel happens often with my other lefty friends.
so Tim, keep me posted on any uprisings