Thursday, February 8, 2007

PAPER OR PLASTIC

"paper or plastic?"
"uh, what are my other options?"

its virtually impossible not to get a bag, no matter what the purchase. its not often that i even require one. my hands and pockets do more than suffice in most cases. no matter where i go. no matter what i buy. everything comes with a complimentary carrying case of one variety or another.

this might be a localized occurrence, but it could have easily become a national trend right under our noses. it seems as though clerks are programmed to bag without question. convenience store employees seem to have the quickest draws. from the beep of the scanner straight into an open plastic sack. i wait for the opportune moment to spit out out my, "I can carry that!" but if i flounder, if i take too long counting the change in my pocket, then i lose the duel. can of pepsi. bag. pack of gum. bag. tootsie roll. bag. if i just ask for a bag, it comes in a bag. the irony is that it actually makes carrying my goods less convenient. my pack of trident wasn't originally that difficult to manage, but now i either have a wad of plastic filling my jacket pocket or i stumble out of the store in search of the proper receptacle to dispense of my newly acquired "trash". thanks.

the corporate heads of these franchises must somehow benefit by forcing bags on any customer not quick enough to deny one. that can be the only answer, and i can only theorize as to why. its possible that these same CEO's also fund third-world bag producing sweatshops. its possible that somewhere in some subterranean training facility for new hires, convenience store big wigs are twirling their pencil thin mustaches, laughing manically as they implant mind controlling microchips in the squishy brain stems of fresh faced kids. i suspect that upon seeing some trigger, like a UPC symbol, they're drown with an urge to bag. since most bags come with the corporate logo branded on the side, the corporation is paying itself for free advertising. meanwhile, i suppose, poor, malnourished, guatamalan orphans slave away under penalty of barbed whip, for hours on end, cutting handle holes in plastic bags and gluing flaps on future text book covers. we've all seen what happened to the poor juvenile bag makers in indiana jones and the temple of doom. some of them get their hearts pulled right out their chests. its true.

we must rise up and stop these barbarous acts!
DENY THE BAG!

think of the Guatemalan orphans.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know you don't really care, and are probably freaked out as to why I am your only "comment" but you'll have to get over it.... I ask for paper........ I bag it myself and then use the paper bags to house my recyclebles, and then recycle the bags too. I am saving the world one piece of trash at a time, and no one gives a shit, but me. Put that on my tomb stone. I just don't think about it, I do something... you can come to the recycling center with me to see if you like... I will keep my hands to myself, don't be afraid.... M.K.

Anonymous said...

If you never intend to do, or change, or effect any of the subjects you write about it is all usless dribble. If you do something, that is good... Wow, too deep for me! M.K.

TYLER said...

i'm not saying bags should be eliminated entirely, nor am i saying that there aren't times when using them is appropriate. i'd have to make a lot of trip to the car and back on my grocery shopping excursions if it wasn't for the trusty old bag. i'm just pointing out an observation and maybe a little encouragement to refuse trivial bagging practices (for the children). i just say no.

Denise said...

Bring a big canvas bag or two when you shop....

Paul said...

You know... I've been fighting this cause for some time now. I might be the pioneer or grandaddy if you will. Do you know how long it takes to plastic to bio degrade. About the same amount of time it takes the person forcing the bag on me to get it's GED. I me come on. Even if you use them for a bathroom trash bag it's still only one use. Remember the 60 degree days in december? I don't like the cold or the snow but I would like for my kids to at least be able to feel snow. Help out man and tell the conter person, I have two hand and the Gap made me a jacket with two pockets to put them in and I'll stuff as much in them as I can. SO NO TO THE BAG!!!!!